I've become obsessed with the medium of film as of late. I've always been an avid watcher of film and I mostly enjoy films that make you think rather than the stupid Hollywood comedy. However, over the last few months I have become engrossed in researching and educating myself in film, especially those of the past.

My project started off small. After getting the observer guide to film one day in the summer I decided I would compile a list of films I should see. Sort of along the lines of those lists you find that tell you all the films you must see before you die... not that I'm planning on dying anytime soon. Anyway, what started out small grew into a pretty massive project of listing, researching and generally becoming obsessed with finding out about certain films and stars of the Golden Age of Hollywood. I've found myself becoming increasingly enchanted by the world of 1940s film, more specifically film noir. Other genres of that era like the romantic comedy's or musicals don't interest me, but film noir has. It's bleak, mysterious and stylized cinematography along with its enigmatic stars such as Bogart and Bacall (possibly the one of the most beautiful women in the world) and its intricate plotlines make for some of the most iconic and brilliant films of all time. My list has become extensive and out of this has grown a full blown obsession with the 1940's, its fashion and style, architecture and design ... I can't quite describe what it is that so captures me about the period but it just has.

Obsession is something that I tend to lean towards. I'm not a person that does things half heartedly, unfortunately however, it never tends to lend itself to my academic work. I wish I could apply half of the drive I have towards actually writing my dissertation. I'm in the midst of researching for it, and don't get me wrong my topic does interest me very much. Nixon's policy of achieving 'peace with honour' in Vietnam is a very interesting and engaging topic. I love being able to focus on the political history of one of the most interesting wars of the 20th century and perhaps my favourite US President of all time. However, I suppose this is the problem for a lot of people that the actual writing of a 12,000 word researched document is rather daunting and not as fun as the researching part. Alas I need to press on with it as it is due in after Christmas...

Another very daunting task looming large at the moment is; what to do after graduation? I really hate people asking me this question, because honestly I don't want to think about it. Again it's strange as I'm very much a organisational, planning freak, yet I don't seem to be able to apply this to my future career. It's possibly one of the most important things that I'll ever need to think about, but I just can't get my head around it. The fact that I have no idea where to start or what I want may not be helping. The actual thought of literally deciding what I'm going to do for the most part of my future life overwhelms me so much, that I just want to sit in a corner and cry. My aversion to change and the fact that I'd really love to be a forensic investigator, whilst having no qualifications what so ever to actually follow that up could also be an obstacle too... Oh well maybe I'll just be a hippy drifter instead...